Botox or real beauty

I had lunch with a girlfriend today and was horrified to see a number of bruises on her face. She’s been going through an extremely difficult split with her husband, who’s an asshole on a good day. My first thought was that he’d hit her. I decided to approach the topic with care…
“What the fuck happened to your face?”
“Oh that… Botox darling. It’ll heal in a few days.”

I’ve never had Botox, although the thought certainly crosses my mind occasionally (only every time I look in the mirror). I’m needle phobic, so it’s highly unlikely that I ever will have it. Quite a few of my girlfriends get regular jabs, and I don’t judge them for it. But do they judge me?

I recently caught up with another friend who has had so much work she looks like Pricilla Presley. Thankfully she picked me up, because if I’d met her out, I’d have walked straight past her. She is virtually unrecognisable. I don’t get it. She was gorgeous. Now she’s an advertisement for one of Sydney’s top surgeons. But what occurred to me over dinner was… if she was so critical of herself that she was wiling to change her appearance so dramatically… was she actually focussing on what I had to say throughout the evening… or was she focussing on my flaws? Surely it’s impossible to see beauty in others if you’re blind to the beauty in yourself. And if your own flaws are so unacceptable, then it’s unlikely that you’ll be oblivious to mine.

I love flaws. I see great beauty in a strangely placed freckle or an oddly shaped nose. I think scars add character. And there is nothing more beautiful than a woman who has accepted that she’s aging with style and grace and an unashamed sexuality.

It’s not easy aging in today’s society, with its unhealthy emphasis on physical perfection. But every time I catch myself looking in the mirror and wishing for ten years back, or thinking perhaps I could conquer my fear of needles and get some work done, I remember this: I have always prided myself on being rather rebellious. And the most rebellious thing a woman can actually do nowadays is like herself.